Flying with a baby is no easy feat. Between the loud noises, cramped spaces, and constant pressure changes, it’s a lot for a little one to handle. Yet, despite doing everything they can, parents are often made to feel guilty for any noise their children might make. Recently, a mom flying from Seoul to San Francisco went above and beyond to ensure a peaceful experience for her fellow passengers, passing out earplugs, Korean candies, and a pre-written note apologizing for her four-month-old baby who “might cry.” Sweet gesture? Yes. Necessary? Absolutely not.

The Overwhelming Pressure on Parents to Keep Babies Silent

Air travel is stressful enough on its own, but for parents with young children, it can feel like a nightmare. The mere thought of a crying or fussy child has many parents on edge, fearing judgmental stares and eye-rolls from other passengers. These days, it’s almost expected that parents should go above and beyond to keep their babies quiet, often at the expense of their own comfort and peace of mind.

This pressure is precisely why some parents, like the mom on the Seoul-to-San Francisco flight, feel the need to “pre-apologize” for their baby’s potential cries. It’s as if they’re expected to have complete control over their child’s natural behavior, as though babies should act like calm, well-mannered adults. But the truth is, babies cry—it’s their primary way of communicating. While it’s considerate to care about others’ comfort, it’s unrealistic to expect babies to be quiet for an entire flight.

The “Good Mom” Image and Unnecessary Apologies

Many on social media praised the mom’s gesture, calling her a “great mom” for thinking of the other passengers. But should she have to go to such lengths just to be seen as considerate? It’s as if society now expects parents to perform grand acts of courtesy just to be viewed as “good” or “thoughtful.”

The idea that a parent should apologize for their child’s natural behavior reflects an unfair expectation placed on mothers and fathers alike. As one Facebook user rightly commented, “That was a nice gesture, but people need to be more understanding on flights and not make parents and their children feel so ‘unwelcome.’ We were all babies once.” And they’re right—shouldn’t adults understand that babies make noise?

Air Travel and Babies: Why Crying is Inevitable

Let’s be honest—flying isn’t comfortable for adults, so imagine what it’s like for a baby who has no idea what’s happening. Crying is a natural response for babies, especially when they’re in discomfort. For example, pressure changes during takeoff and landing can cause painful pressure in their little ears, which is why many parents try to breastfeed or bottle-feed during these times to ease the discomfort.

Parents often go to great lengths to keep their children calm on flights. They pack snacks, bring toys, and load up tablets with favorite shows. But despite their best efforts, kids can still get restless or cry because, well, they’re kids. Expecting them to be silent and still for hours on end is unrealistic. Instead, maybe it’s time we shift our perspective and show a little empathy for both the parents and the kids.

The Double Standard: Kids Are Held to Higher Standards Than Adults

It’s ironic that while adults can be just as disruptive on flights, they rarely face the same judgment. Most of us have encountered the loud talker, the frequent drinker, the armrest hog, or the passenger watching videos without headphones. When adults cause disturbances, people usually roll their eyes or ignore it, moving on without much fuss. But the moment a child makes noise, it becomes a major issue that draws frustrated sighs and stares.

This double standard puts parents in a difficult position. Why should they feel obligated to provide earplugs and candies to placate other passengers? It’s not their responsibility to cater to grumpy adults who seem to expect complete silence on a public flight.

Empathy on Flights: It Goes a Long Way

No matter how well parents prepare, children sometimes act up. This is where empathy from other passengers can make a real difference. Instead of shooting judgmental looks, a little understanding goes a long way. Traveling with kids is hard, and parents are often already stressed without added pressure from strangers.

Remember, children—especially babies—aren’t crying to be annoying. They’re reacting to an overwhelming environment, expressing discomfort, or feeling uncertain. It’s not a reflection of poor parenting; it’s just part of being a child. Offering a smile, a kind word, or even just ignoring the noise can make a world of difference for a parent trying to keep their child calm.

Parents Shouldn’t Have to Bear the Burden Alone

Some people argue that it’s a parent’s job to control their child’s behavior at all times. But anyone who’s spent time around children knows that’s easier said than done. Babies and young children are still learning to understand and manage their emotions. Expecting them to stay silent on a long flight is as unrealistic as expecting smooth skies with no turbulence.

If noise is a significant concern, adults can bring their own earplugs or noise-canceling headphones. It’s not the parents’ responsibility to provide these, nor should they feel pressured to apologize for their child’s natural reactions. Parents are often doing everything they can, and a little compassion from other travelers can make the experience more bearable for everyone.

The Takeaway: Let’s Stop Expecting Apologies for Normal Child Behavior

No parent should feel they have to hand out earplugs and treats simply because their child might cry. Children are part of our world, and they have just as much right to be on a plane as anyone else. It’s important to remember that we were all babies once, and we likely cried in public spaces too.

So, next time you’re on a flight and hear a baby cry, remind yourself that the parents are probably doing their best to soothe their child. Instead of expecting an apology, let’s try offering a little patience and understanding. Traveling is already hard enough; let’s not make it harder for parents simply trying to get from point A to point B with their kids.

In the end, babies will cry, kids will act like kids, and parents shouldn’t have to bear the weight of everyone’s expectations. Let’s show a little empathy and remember that flying is a shared experience—for all ages.