Imagine this: you’re changing your baby’s diaper, and before you start, you pause and ask, “Is it okay if I change your diaper now?” Sounds odd, right? Especially since your baby can’t talk back. But this is exactly what Australian sexuality educator Deanne Carson recommends. And like many modern parenting philosophies, this one has sparked a fiery debate.

So what’s really behind the idea? Is it radical nonsense—or a revolutionary way to raise emotionally intelligent kids? Let’s break it down.

Understanding the “Culture of Consent” from Day One

Deanne Carson’s idea isn’t about waiting for a baby to give a thumbs-up. She isn’t suggesting your infant will say, “Sure, go ahead.” Instead, it’s about planting the seed of mutual respect early on. By asking—even if it’s rhetorical—parents signal to their children that their bodies are respected and that communication matters.

Carson explains it like this: when you narrate your actions and pause for eye contact or observe body language, you’re helping your baby feel seen, heard, and valued. You’re not waiting for verbal consent, but you are reinforcing a respectful habit that could grow into something meaningful as your child matures.

Video: Expert claims parents should ask babies for permission to change their nappy

Can a Baby Really Understand Consent?

Let’s be real—newborns have zero concept of consent. They don’t know the meaning of the word, let alone how to give it. Critics are quick to point that out. But here’s the thing: Carson’s point isn’t that babies understand consent—it’s that they experience respectful interactions from day one.

Think of it like talking to your baby throughout the day. You know they can’t respond with words, but studies show that doing so helps with language development, emotional bonding, and brain growth. Carson’s method works in a similar way—it’s not about the reply, it’s about the relationship.

The Backlash: “Lefty Lunacy” or Just Misunderstood?

As you might expect, not everyone is on board. Commentators and critics from around the world have called the idea ridiculous, impractical, and even dangerous. Australian journalist Rowan Dean labeled it “lefty lunacy.” Parenting expert John Rosemond called it “the most bizarre idea of all time.”

And then there’s the internet, where opinions come fast and fierce. Many users mocked Carson online, posting sarcastic comments like:
“Do I need my cat’s consent to clean the litter box?”
“If it stinks, you change it—end of story!”
“Leaving a baby in a dirty diaper is neglect. Are we seriously debating this?”

Some say Carson’s idea risks turning common-sense parenting into a confusing mess of overthinking. Others worry it could blur the line between nurturing and neglect if taken too literally.

Supporters Say It’s About Respect, Not Permission

Video: Should Parents Ask Their Babies For Consent Before Changing Their Nappies?

Despite the mockery, some people see value in Carson’s approach. Several parents and educators pointed out that babies do communicate—just not with words. They coo, cry, squirm, giggle, and make eye contact. Responding to these cues fosters trust.

Supporters argue that asking for consent is more about the spirit of respect than the literal request. It’s about modeling good communication and emotional awareness. And if chatting to your baby builds a deeper bond? Why not?

One parent wrote, “Even if you’re wrong, what’s the harm in showing respect?”
Another added, “Babies learn long before they speak. Why not teach them they have a say in what happens to their bodies?”

What Pediatric Experts Actually Say

Child development specialists often recommend tuning into a baby’s non-verbal signals. Reading body language, making eye contact, and explaining your actions are all signs of engaged parenting. In that sense, Carson’s method aligns with well-established practices.

Is it practical to ask every time you change a diaper? Probably not. But the broader principle—treating your baby like a thinking, feeling human from the beginning—is backed by science.

It’s less about waiting for a “yes” and more about building a foundation of communication and empathy that can shape how your child sees relationships and boundaries later in life.

What This Debate Really Reveals About Modern Parenting

'Sexuality expert' says parents should ask for baby's consent when changing nappies.

Yes, really… pic.twitter.com/iR6wUfP87i

— Sunrise (@sunriseon7) May 10, 2018

The truth is, Carson’s diaper consent idea hit a nerve because it represents a shift in how we think about parenting. It’s no longer just about feeding and changing—it’s about nurturing emotional intelligence, bodily autonomy, and trust.

Some people find comfort in traditional roles and routines, while others welcome new ideas, even if they seem strange at first. This debate shines a light on the growing divide between these two mindsets: those who want to raise kids the way they were raised, and those who are willing to rethink everything.

And maybe that’s not a bad thing. Every parenting idea should be questioned, tested, and discussed. That’s how we grow as families—and as a society.

Conclusion: Radical or Reasonable? You Decide

So, should you ask your baby for consent before a diaper change? Honestly, that’s up to you. If it feels silly, that’s okay. If you like the idea of turning diaper time into a moment of connection and respect, go for it.

What matters most is being present, attentive, and loving. Whether you’re saying, “Time for a diaper!” or simply smiling and meeting your baby’s gaze, you’re shaping their sense of safety, trust, and communication.

And if that starts with a question—even one they can’t answer—maybe that’s not such a strange idea after all.